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Note: I Don’t Own Anything About It
By Matthew Cerrone - Jul 23, 2008 12:23 pm

As some of you know, my wife and I spent the last week traveling up the coast of California while on vacation.

While walking on a street in Beverly Hills, a man stepped in front of me, smoking a cigarette, pacing and swearing while ranting and raving on his cell phone.

I turned to my wife and said, “Wait, that’s Giuseppe Franco.”  Sure enough, we happened to be walking in front of his ‘famed Beverly Hills salon,’ as the repetitive commercial says.

For those who do not watch SNY, Franco is an owner of a hair salon and spokesman for Procede, a company which he does not own – in fact, he doesn’t own anything about it.  However, in the span of a nine-inning broadcast, you will see his face and the commercial for Procede roughly a dozen times per night.

My wife insisted I stop him and take a picture, figuring MetsBlog’s readers would get a kick out of it.  I tried.  We waited for five minutes, but the man was pacing and swearing and smoking and yelling in to his cell phone, while wearing a black t-shirt, slick-back hair and leather wrist bands. 

Honestly, it was the best Andrew Dice Clay impersonation I have even seen.

On at least 10 occasions he repeated the phrase, ‘Well, tell him to go F**k himself,” all with the same Euro-Jersey accent he speaks with in the infamous ad for Procede.

Eventually, it became quite clear that, even if he did make himself available, this was not a man I should be standing next to asking for a photograph, especially with my smart-ass way of speaking – and so my wife and I took off, but not before she snapped a photo of him in action.

For more on Franco, check out this YouTube clip.

81 Responses to “Note: I Don’t Own Anything About It”

  1. ravi3 says:

    3 words, Cerrone….A MAZE ING

    • giuseppe franco_procede says:

      Sorry Matt…I really don’t own anything about it…and you were in my way!

      • giuseppe franco_procede says:

        And for your information, I was yelling at Gary Busey!

      • Hi … I m a big met fan who saw juiseppe on daily news live. I also know of the salon because of the 150 times they play the procede ad on sportsnet new york during every met game (as you/juiseppe so eloquently put it). Anyway, he referenced a website with juiseppe t-shirts where profits go to charity but never mentioned the site. I was hoping someone could ask him or get back to me with the name of the website as I would like to purchase one … esp with the commercial and the fact that the profits go to charity. Pls get back to me at this email, sam@samquain.com as soon as ur able to do so (I have been working on this for like a week with no luck). Thx for the time. Sam from manhattan

      • Hi … I m a big met fan who saw juiseppe on daily news live. I also know of the salon because of the 150 times they play the procede ad on sportsnet new york during every met game (as you/juiseppe so eloquently put it). Anyway, a website was referenced with juiseppe t-shirts where profits go to charity but never mentioned the site. I was hoping someone could ask him or get back to me with the name of the website as I would like to purchase one … esp with the commercial and the fact that the profits go to charity. Pls get back to me at this email, sam@samquain.com as soon as ur able to do so (I have been working on this for like 3 weeks with no luck). Thx for the time.

  2. Prismo says:

    This is the best entry in the history of Metsblog.

    • kingman 26 says:

      I agree with Prismo.

      This is almost too hilarious for words!!

      • ravi3 says:

        definitely helped me forget about last night….Oh..wait..

        Hey Cerrone–maybe you can get Franco to be a spokesman for this site…He won’t have to change his pitch at all, because he doesn’t own the site…in fact, he doesn’t own anything about it.

        • UpperDeckDweller says:

          “He’s Giuseppe Franco, hes not putting his name on the line for something that doesnt work….”

          Metsblog works just fine, so i think you may be able to work that deal out…

          I agree with Prismo, that was a hilarious post.

    • narcyfour says:

      This is without question the funniest thinkg I have read in a while. However, were Gary Busey to have entered and applied his quarter second cameo bear hug to calm down Franco, I would have enjoyed the story much more.

      Incidentally, were i you Matt, i would have asked my wife to fetch me a mocha latte, so as to not witness me clothesline Franco with the efficiency of the Iron Sheik in his prime.

      I would have then pissed on my hands while he was lying on the pavement, and rubbed it through his disgustingly dyed black head of hair and say, “Hey, this is moises Alou mixed with Jorge Posada’s piss, it helps grip when exerting pressure sans batting gloves while batting. Hey, I dont own the piss, i dont own anything about it, I’m not putting my piss on the line here.” Start, using Moises and Jorge’s piss in your hair……Right now.”

  3. Dirtysanchez says:

    great post matt.
    Wonder if he was talking to busey

  4. Lightweis says:

    Posts like this are the reason I love this blog. Great stuff Matt

    • MetsFan4Decades says:

      Same here. Thanks for the chuckle, Matt. Only thing worth smiling about after last night…..

  5. Mr. Bananagrabber says:

    You should ask him why, if he doesn’t put his name on something that doesn’t work, he embraces Gary Busey. I’m pretty sure that dude hasn’t worked in years.

    • Keith's 'Stache says:

      he has worked … if you watch entourage you will see him at his finest

      • Mr. Bananagrabber says:

        I’ve seen him on Entourage, yeah. I just meant it to be ironic(?)/stupid. I can see him on Celebrity Fit Club too, but I wouldn’t call that work.

      • BatteriesForRocker says:

        He was also in Gingerdead Man. Fantastic Movie about a little gingerbread man that kills people.

  6. koosman says:

    I do not envy you seeing this man in person. His commercials are the reason they put a mute button on the remote.

  7. dominicanboy08 says:

    LMFAO!!!..GREAT POST MATT!!

  8. Matt, you and your wife are awesome for so many reasons – the content of this post covering most of them.

  9. Justin4383 says:

    Wow

    • starz31 says:

      that sums it up

      I wonder if Matt’s post violates the comments policy of this site.

  10. HeadlinerG60 says:

    Greatest post in the history of the internet and a nice way to forget about last night.

  11. FlyingDadBomb34 says:

    Seriously, I don’t know what’s more hilarious, that or the endless array of Dick Pole jokes the other night.

    • boozermetsfan says:

      this guy sounds like a real dick.

      good for u to get away and enjoy the cali weather.

  12. Gasface77 says:

    OMG!! I was seriously in the worst mood ever today after last night’s loss and I am in the process of studying for the bar exam. This post changed my entire day! As a matter of fact, this is the best thing ever! Any way to put a permanent link to this on the side of the page. I can’t believe you had an encounter with G.F. himself!!

  13. Keith's 'Stache says:

    hey…..im guiseppe franco

  14. crazymetgirl says:

    OK, I was drinking water as I pulled up this site and almost spit all over my screen laughing so hard at this!!

    What a perfect story from your trip!!!!

    Made my day….

  15. Matt, that is absolutely amazing. Running into a living legend like that doesn’t happen often. I was lucky enough to bump into Eater X at Kennedy airport. He was in the bathroom putting on his facepaint. I was star struck, but mustered up a feeble “are you him?”. To which he nodded.

  16. kmknd20 says:

    hahaha. thank you for this, this made my day (which is impressive after being at the game last night).

    • ugh, was at the game last night too. mezzanine section 21. a group of 20 phillies fans sat in there. needless to say, they were tossed before stretch time.

      interesting bunch though. kind of jerry springer trailer trash meets, um….jerry springer trailer trash.

  17. Keith's 'Stache says:

    he isnt going to put his name on the line for something that doesnt work

  18. metfan435 says:

    That is great, he was probably on the phone swearing at a customer who just paid 450.00 in his salon when he could of ordered a whole tube for 19.95. Thanks for the post Matt.

  19. shannon says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    that is all.

  20. maybealittlemoredelgado says:

    Thanks for cheering us up matt.

  21. Flushing_is_Burning says:

    This is man dedicated to his job, investigative journalism while on vacation. Thanks Matt!

  22. bigvito22 says:

    HAHAHAHA, I needed that…I think we all did.

  23. bkfitz says:

    This story is better than if you just saw him outside smoking and asked to take a picture with him.

  24. Gasface77 says:

    I seriously cannot stop laughing at this.

  25. molder says:

    I envy you….this would be one of the greatest moments of my life…

  26. big shea says:

    He was definitely talking about Busey when he said “tell him to go f himself.” I bet Busey finally realized how many times they play that commerical on SNY and YES and is now calling G-Franc looking for royalties. Can’t blame the guy, he hasn’t worked in quite a while. Although I see G-Franc’s point of view as well. It’s not like he’s raking in the “Procedes” either. After all, he doesn’t own anything about it!

  27. Carter8 says:

    Awesome. I bet he was arguing with Larry Opper or Doug Fraser about their “thinin’ spots” returning.

  28. Paperboy says:

    BEST!

    *gasps for air…too much laughter*

  29. mackeysasser says:

    Matt, we NEEDED this after last night’s abortion! Thanks!

  30. G.F doesn’t get as much commercial time now, with Darling being in every other commercial. Did you know he got a ring for being the best!

    • starz31 says:

      Its funny, they have the same Sovereign bank commercials up here in bAHston but Jerry Remi replaces Darling. Its pretty awful listening to that crappy accent over and over. “Did yah kno I got aH ring for being the bAest.”

    • K-Hern says:

      well you might say he’s the Total Package

  31. Necciai27 says:

    “The best antidote for anything is humor.”
    -Unknown

    Boy Matt, did you prove that true! My Pepsi went out my nose I laughed so hard!

  32. saltygary says:

    Do you think Franco’s has any idea what this commercial means to Mets fans? At this point I get more enjoyment from his commercial then from those bums.

  33. Zoe says:

    Mattttt, that is hilarious!! Any chance you’d link to a larger pic of him smoking there?

  34. Mingo says:

    This is just beautiful.

    The only thing funnier would be if the Mets had Giuseppe Franco Bobblehead night.

  35. HAHAHAHAHA

    As pretty much everyone else said, this almost makes up for last night.

  36. murdertron3000 says:

    Seriously, how can he not know ANYTHING about the company?? That man should do some due dillegence, for real.

  37. SethH says:

    Hilarious story.

    Speaking of commercials that run endlessly on SNY, the Derek Jeter commercials are really getting on my nerves. What a complete insult to Mets fans. Is Ford trying to sell cars or just piss us off?

  38. therick4 says:

    How famous can this guy and his salon really be? He doesn’t even have his own Wikipedia page!!! Maybe the folks at metsblog should start one?

  39. AzMetsFan says:

    Matt,

    How can you not go inside to see if that same product sold for $400?

  40. tengobotas says:

    Thank you for this. I mean it, today has been awful and this made me laugh out loud.

  41. K-Hern says:

    I am a Giuseppe Franco fan!

    Hey Matt is that or is that not a picture of Arnold Schwarzenneger in his front window?

  42. nymetsjeff says:

    Post is funny as heck and quite frankly, keeps this site fun. Its not all business and we sure needed a good laugh today after that Manuel/Santana/Bullpen fiasco last night.

    Lets point out where Matt could have stepped this one up a bit:

    - Wait for him to go back inside. Walk in and give a ridiculous reaction and hug him like you were Gary Busey
    - Bought a case of Procede off of TV, then sat outside Giuseppe Franco’s, selling it for $300 a shot to his dopey clients, making a nice profit to be put towards Metsblog.com’s 1st annual summer cookout for readers
    - Tell him you are the advertising rep for Oxi-Clean and you want to have him replace Billy Mays on the infomercials. You prefer the sweet hairdo over the sweet beard.
    - Got a Giuseppe Franco haircut. You know, the spike job. Mrs. Metsblog.com would be psyched.
    - Tell him Mets fans are ready to dropkick him if they ever saw him.

  43. Mookie1986 says:

    Dude, I don’t care if this is s a Mets site…

    BEST POST EVER!

    I’m sure anyone could find this bozo’s “salon” if they looked it up. But the fact that you had no idea and just happened to stumble upon him is priceless.

    That guy is a total dbag. And by the way, I am totally going out as Giuseppe Franco this Halloween. I’ll dress my 3 month old (who will be 6 months at that point) up as a bottle of Procede and carry him around with me.

    BEST HALLOWEEN EVER!

  44. Jova1931 says:

    This was just as funny as all those Dick Pole jokes last weekend!

  45. NYP-BOS-NYP says:

    If you watch the Aussie “documentary” that Matt links to at the end of his post all the way through, you will be rewarded with the best Franco quote ever. I am considering having this engraved on something and putting it up on my wall. jess21mets, you should put this on your shirts, because it is so incredibly inspirational:

    “If you don’t have a dream, you’re pretty much f—ed.”
    –Giuseppe Franco

    Words to live by, man. Words to live by.

  46. rametfan says:

    I watch most of the games with my father in law, we make it a game with this commercial to see what new fascinating details we can find each time (as its so annoying and on so frequently), its almost gotten to the point its so bad and so annoying its funny. Guess it beats “mr hole in his neck” smoker man from last year…

  47. WestchesterJMUDUKES says:

    haha awesome…I just saw beningo and cotter holdin up a g-franco shirt!!!